Seven Ages

(I am not going to bother explaining my long term absence because there is no explanation. My sincere apologies to everyone wondering if I was dead).

In school, we just finished the poem Seven Ages/ The Seven Ages Of Man by Shakespeare and one of exercises in the textbook was to find another metaphor for the seven stages of life. All of us had to come up with individual comparisons. Mine was a football game (because I have a football obsessed brain).

(By the way, I highly recommend you read the actual poem before reading this post or else it might be kind of confusing)

(Also, I based this off of the analysis given in class. So if you had a completely different analysis, sorry)

(Um, slightly long post)

I: The Football Game Of Life

(Note: based on personal experiences and observation only)

Life is like a game of football and the people are merely the players. As the players enter the field, they are born and as they leave, the die. The player’s team-mates symbolise his friends and family while the opposing team symbolise his enemies, demons and fears.

The First Stage Of Life: The Infant

The first five minutes of the game symbolise infant-hood. The player has just begun playing and is unaware of their surroundings, is unaware of the opponent team’s strength and their own team’s strength on that particular day. The player is confused, disoriented and in most aspects, a crying infant.

The Second Stage Of Life: The Whining Schoolboy

The first five minutes of the game have passed. The player has gained some confidence and is no longer completely disoriented. However, no large achievements are made (1) anon spectacular attempts to score are made. This period is more about getting the hang of the game and being highly, highly impatient. This is the stage of the schoolboy (or schoolgirl)

The Third Stage Of Life: The Lover

(just a side note, everyone in class agreed that this guy lost his girlfriend which is why he became an aggressive soldier… we would not stop dissing him about it)

Now, a short while has passed and suddenly the player stops to feel. They feels emotions. They feels frustration at their team’s lack of goals. They stop and question themselves. They stop playing as a professional and start playing as an individual. They feels a sense of team spirit never felt before. That one guy on their team whose name the player never bothered to find out? Suddenly the both of them are connected through a bond much stronger and much deeper than football.

The player begins to play with passion. They begin to play with love and a sense of patriotism. Their soul becomes fragile and the slightest mistake becomes magnified. They become terrified of rejection by their team-mates and their loyal fans… this state of extreme emotion cause extremely foolish slip ups (2). This is the era of the lover.

The Fourth Stage Of Life: The Soldier

(we were ruthless with this guy… we dragged him…. our roasts were better than The Death Of Jake Paul)

Whatever the player may have achieved or lost during their previous stage has been forgotten, apparently. The player is now a soldier. They are aggressive, active, ambitious and will achieve their goal at all costs.

The player now may still have that bond with their team but now, above all else, the player seeks the reputation. They want to have their Hand Of God moment. They want to bend it like Beckham. They want to be the next Pele. The next Ronaldo. At the very least, the next half of F2 (3). 

And thus passes the soldier.

An Extra Stage I Included Because Why Not?


This represents the player (the person’s) midlife crisis.

The player desperately plans for second half. At the same time, thoughts of losing, of rejection, of failure… they are all racing through his mind. What if I fall? What if I break my leg? Oh no! OH NO!

The Fifth Stage Of Life: The The Judge/The Justice

Halftime has ended. A moderately tired player walks onto the field. The player is now filled with despair and with a strong sense of justice. The match resumes. Both sides are now fighting desperately and the player, now trying to convince people that they are a righteous and wise human being, tries their very best to catch the attention of the referee.

This is when the player plans and plays with careful strategy. The wildness of the first half is gone and everything is calculated. The opponent team tackles, not a foolish young soldier, but an annoying old judge.

The Sixth Stage Of Life: Old Age

The end of the game slowly approaches and the player is tired. One can only have so much stamina. But the player still pushes on. As the player pushes on, many thoughts run through their mind. Oh, the end is near, Has this game been a success?, Why is the end near?…

The player quietly tells stories of the game to themselves and recalls the highlights which will most certainly be shown on TV later (4) and plays.

The Seventh Stage Of Life: Senility

The game is almost at a close. Only five minutes left. Either nothing happens or miracle goals are shot; The player is now at the end of their energy. They have no plan and they are playing with no strategy. They are blindly playing, emotions all over the place and very, very tired. Once again, they are an infant… very, very confused.

Bye Bye

The whistle blows. Deathbed. The emotions the player feels usually depend on whether their team won or lost. The player could be happy, sad, content, discontent, regretful, angry, excited. Who knows? Perhaps they invented a completely new emotion altogether! The player feels this emotion and death approaches.

The match ends.

The End (Of This Comparison)

(1) If achievements are made in childhood, then the player is compared to a child prodigy

(2) Yeah… this was there in our analysis, only in different words. Ma’am had just uttered the words ” -and he can sometimes express his emotions in silly ways-” when I immediately chimed in with “So THATS why his girlfriend broke up with him!”… the entire class stared at me.

(3) Mana would be SO proud of me for making an F2 Freestylers reference… she is ultra obsessed with them. She almost had a seizure because they read out her comment on Instagram Live and thanked her.

(4) “Shown on TV”. This, of course, refers to the memories everyone will be talking about at the funeral.

My friends also had various, extremely creative ideas.

One of my friends wanted to compare life to a debate ( THBT Life Is Like A Debate). After going through many different formats of differing individual speaker time, she settled on one.

Mana wanted to compare life to Hide and Seek. I don’t remember much about it but it was extremely depressing and right out of a horror movie.

Someone else wanted to compare life to a flower… I didn’t really get it though.

I’m not sure but I think Sadhu wanted to compare life to food (or something along those lines).

Anyway, what do you people think is a good comparison for life?

Again, my apologies for my absence.

Oh, and Happy Halloween!


Via xOx


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