Garbage Thief

“And what makes you think you are qualified for this job as robber, sneak thief, cat burglar and assassin ma’am? We take, you must understand, only the highest and most elite”

“Oh yes! I most certainly understand. What makes me qualified, you ask? Well, I was but 10 when I stole from a store, not one, but three entire rose petals which I then, heartlessly lost. And, my most memorable theft was at a family function when, right under the noses of not one, but fifteen people, I stole an empty wrapper. Now, if that doesn’t make me qualified, I must ask you, what does?”

Unfortunately, I cannot lie and say that I am not the second speaker. Nor can I lie and say, I have not performed those above two great acts of thievery. You see, I have the mind and instincts of a great thief and the heart and conscience of a snivelling scaredy cat. I am saddened to say that they are not the best combination.

Today, I went to a family function where there was very spicy food and a bunch of elderly and middle aged people talking. Everyone who wasn’t elderly or middle aged was found cooing over the baby.

Me? I do not fit in with the elderly (though they were very nice to me), the middle aged (mom, dad, if you do not like me calling you middle aged, well then, I am naturally not talking about you when I say middle aged) and I did not fit in very well with the college girl, the girl my age or the annoying/cute girl in primary.

Why? Well, my social skills are rather undeveloped. Although all the other ‘kids’ were very nice, I could not think of intelligent words to say. I laughed at their jokes. I grinned when I wasn’t laughing. I offered my name in this weird voice which always comes to me when I haven’t used my voice for long.

In reality, I was busy thinking of what the heck was going to happen to Eleanor and Park from, um, Eleanor and Park. You see, I am a terrible guest as I took along my Kindle (E-reader) and was busy in the magic of Rainbow Rowell’s writing. It was rather a shock when I looked up from a school bus to the faces of a thousand relatives.

Do not misunderstand me. I love relatives. It is possible to love something and be terrified of it. Example, I love dogs; I am terrified of them. Relatives pose the same situation. Heck, forget relatives. PEOPLE cause that situation. This is why I like staying in my room with friends as weird as me or with online people weirder than me (Just kidding, love y’all… don’t kill me)

After watching everyone try and get the very cute baby to move (he was so little. I liked the baby a lot as he was excellent company as Park showed up at Eleanor’s house. He was asleep on a kind sized bed and I had a little corner with pillows and blankets and everything. He slept; I read; There was AC. Bliss), my parents said it was time to leave.

I said a quick ‘bye’ to all my second and third cousins who smiled on the outside and rejoiced on the inside (their very weird cousin who resembled a goldfish was FINALLY leaving)

My parents were saying more ‘byes’ as I looked on the top of the refrigerator. I saw some very cute printed glasses, some money and an empty wrapper. My ‘thief’ instincts were awake.

I looked around. No one was watching. It was my chance!

My chance to what? To prove. To prove that I could survive in a post-apocalypse world! To prove I could survive on the mean streets! And to prove could. (Not that I could ever take something that didn’t belong to me. That will be verified as we continue the story)

I took two coins (which would have not been much use even if I had taken them forever as they would barely have bought anything) and carefully placed them back. My conscience would not allow me to remove the coins from the top of the refrigerator.

I considered taking the glass. This time my conscience did not allow me to even touch the glasses.

My instincts wanted me to steal. For PROOF. So I gave up, groaned in disgust and took the wrapper. Even then, my conscience was yelling at me. I convinced my conscience that it was a good thing as I had saved them the trouble of throwing it in the garbage.

Even then my conscience screamed things like “What if that wrapper is lined with gold?” “What if that wrapper is made of powder that is going to help a poor girl beat cancer?”

I firmly told it to shut up and put it in my bag. I felt like a total badass as I walked out. I felt like the guys (and girl) from Italian Job. 

I told my mom and dad about my great thievery. They burst out laughing.

I was deeply offended. I was even more offended as I realized I had not turned off the fan and my dad remarked that if I had stolen the money, it would have helped pay the bill.

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(P.S- In that entire function, the most entertaining conversation I had went as follows:

Lady: Do you want some Thirukkanamudhu (indian sweet)?
Me: Oh no thank you, I am fu-
Lady to my left (ltmf): You don’t like?
Me: Nono! I lik-
Man to my right (mtmr): You’re not having?
Me: N-
ltml: She does not like it
Me: No, I lik-
ltml: How can you say you don’t like Thirukkanamudhu?
mtmr: *nods*
Me: 

Ahhh, people)

Via xox

 

Long Live Freedom

Although the heading sounded solemn, this is, alas, just another one of my exam end celebrations.

SO relieved… until the results come out.


I, unfortunately, do not have any big plans for the holidays. Oh wait, I do! Lounge around, listen to music, read the 37 books on my Goodreads To Read list, write, draw, sleep and break The Myth’s head with his football.


If the last one seemed strange, allow me to enlighten you. ‘The Myth’ is the nickname we gave to this new boy in our block who’s really good at football and plays with us almost daily (refer to I look like Alessia Cara?)

Anyway, he got MY football stuck in the tree for the, wait for it, SECOND time.

If that sentence sounded weird, that’s because it is. I am aware that it is mainly shuttlecocks that get stuck in trees but the ego of some boys combined with their lack of common sense gets footballs stuck in trees.

Also, MY lack of common sense for not stopping it.

He was kicking it over the treetops. I tried once and WOULD have gotten it if I hadn’t moved and the ball hadn’t bounced off my shin. Ugh. I have kicked the ball onto the roof once but when it counts…

Anyway, after everyone laughed at my ‘effort’ he kicked it again and it got stuck on the trees highest branches. Or, that’s what I assume as we couldn’t see it (It was dark)

We left and I am going to try and get it tomorrow. Hopefully it will rain and the ball will fall down. Or else…


I plan to use these holidays. It is Navarathri though. Navarathri is an Indian festival. Google it for more details. I hope my mom won’t drag me to too many houses this time as I need REST. I need rehabilitation.

It’s like Sigourney Weaver from Finding Dory says: Rescue, Rehabilitation, Release.


Speaking of my mom, it’s her birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! Love you so much🙂


What about you guys? What’ve you been up to? Do you have any book, music or movie recommendation for my hols? If you do PLEASE mention it in the comments.

(I am typing from my mom’s laptop so for now, no GIF. I’ll see if I can attach one later)

Via xxx

 

The Equation Of Saturday

Hey guys.

I have conjured a, frankly perfect equation to describe the horrors of yesterday. Well actually, it was heaven mixed in horror. Here is the equation…

One Absent Minded person + One idiotic person (One Second Language Book + One Second Language Exam) + One focused driver – Anyone sensible + another Second language book + Another second language exam + One Uniform – One overcoat = HELP (Heaven)

Our school uniform is, without sugarcoating, BAD. It looks bad and it’s sweaty! It was fine last year. I mean it was uncomfy but decent to look at (unfortunately I firmly believe in ‘feel good; look good’ so I hated it with every fibre of my being).

They changed the uniforms for this year owing to the inconvenience the dupatta (shawl kinda) caused some students while running. I thought they would be sensible and change it to T-shirt and track pants which is a) convenient and b) doesn’t happen to make you look like a bog monster.

No, they change the dupatta to an overcoat (and now I look like a bog monster!)

*series of livid and bewildered gestures*

Anyway, yesterday was my second language exam. I was revising the morning so I left the house WITHOUT my overcoat!

I said bye to my father and travelled in the car with BOTH my mom AND Sadhu and not ONE of them bothered to tell me.

Sadhu told me after we reached school and my mom left.

NICE GOING!

When I asked her why the heck she hadn’t told me in the car, she said she assumed it was in the wash as nobody could be idiotic enough to remember their ID card and forget their overcoat.

… OUUUCH?!!?

BOTH the teachers who came for invigilation asked me what happened to it. I had to tell them I forgot. Adu, like an idiot, wouldn’t stop laughing.

Although I was humiliated, there was a silver lining…

It was SO comfortable and in MY opinion, DIDN’T make me look like a bog monster (idk what anyone else thought but y’know, my whole ‘feel good; look good’ thing)

So if any of my teachers or principal is reading this, I beseech you to change the uniform into track pants and T-shirt. Just, NO pinafore, NO skirt and if there is a salwar NO overcoat or Dupatta.

Also, remind me never to rely on my mom or Sadhvi to tell me anything.

If any of you have ever been this scatter brained, write it in the comments. I could use some knowing that I am not the only one who does stuff like this🙂

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Via xox

Deep Mysteries

Well hello everyone! My name is-

OK, not such a great start. I cannot seem to get a suitable starting that is NOT something some YouTuber uses!

Anyway, I was checking my mom’s old blog. She stopped writing in it but she left up a few stuff I said/asked when I was 5-8…

One) 

“Why do people have phone if they cannot pick it up when it is ringing?”

– 7 year old complaining to her friend’s father about mom not answering her phone call to request for extra play time.

(This is very ironic as I NEVER pick up my phone)


Two)

7-year old:  Amma, please switch on the gear of the indicator* to clear the glass **
There goes any chance of having another mechanical engineer in the family.

(har har)


Three)

7 year old to mother:  Amma, if you want to have another baby, don’t worry about the work involved. I’ll take care of the baby fully.  You only cook. And clean the baby’s poop and pee.

(…still holds true mom)


Four)

Seven-year old to father:  How does amma’s stomach know that you and she are married to produce a baby?

(…mom? What did you answer?)


Five)

“Amma, like a girl can fall in love with a boy, can a girl fall in love with a girl?”
– 6.5 year old.

( As the song would say, “girls like girls like boys do- nothin’ new”)


Six)

“Appa, will there be something left underground when I grow up to become an archaeologist?”
-6.5 year old

(Laugh all you like. This was an honest, serious worry of mine)


Seven)

“I hope  when I grow up, petrol gets over.  I want to ride a horse, not a car”.

(OK, some quotes are cute. Others are just, as Sheldon from TBBT would put it, “bat crap crazy”)

 

Well, that is it for now although I’m pretty sure I said a LOT more things.

I am pretty sure my parents did not answer most to these and I was like:

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The Misplaced Cargo

Hi Internet (BTW, this is the last ‘Hi/Hello Internet’ because a) I’m getting bored of typing it and b) I don’t want to get sued for copyright reasons by danisnotonfire. JK on the second. No not really)

I was sorta bored this morning so I wrote this very weird, very short ‘story’. It’s called ‘The Misplaced Cargo’. Love you guys xx

THE MISPLACED CARGO

Space ports were generally crowded. There had been a time where there were no space ports but that was in 2016. 3000 was the modern age and Koral was the modern galaxy.

Sunday was the busiest day of the week. This Sunday was no different. Well, it was a little different. The Universe United were awaiting a special cargo. They had been informed that it had been picked up by their ship Ariel and would arrive shortly.

Ship after ship arrived but there was no sign of Ariel. The representatives of Universe United who were waiting at the port were getting impatient.

Finally, the robotic voice announced the arrival of Ariel. The ship landed, automatically making a few hundred people (aliens to you and me but people on their galaxy) scatter. All Universe United ships had that effect.

The crane waited, ready to pick up the package.

The top hatch remained firmly closed.

A representative angrily stalked down to the ship and banged on the door. The pilot got out and urgently whispered something in the representatives ear. The representative promptly fainted.

The remaining representatives, who had caught wind of what was going on due to the fainted representative’s ear piece, burst into panicked yells and ran to the ship.

Meanwhile, a lone space ship was entering the Milky Way.

“Check the cargo hold and prepare for landing” said the captain in a bored voice. The captain felt no need to be excited. This was probably the thousandth delivery he was making and this time would be no better- he wouldn’t get credit, thanks or any form of recognition.

The ship hovered over the blue-green planet. Well, not so green. It was the year 3000. Dearth was very dimly populated. It also had a lot of holes in the atmosphere, very little greenery and not much water.

The captain was delivering more Oxygen.

At least, that’s what he thought.

“What the heck is this?” asked the UN representative staring at the machine in the cargo hold.

The captain was furious and confused. He had no clue how, whatever it was, had got into his cargo hold. He also had no clue where the Oxygen had gone. He prepared to get fired.

The machine whirred.

The representative walked towards it and, very stupidly in the captain’s opinion, pressed the blinking red button.

A blast.

The smoke cleared.

As the representatives of Universe United wondered what had happened to their machine, a blue green planet in the Milky Way was green again and had a perfect atmosphere.

As Universe United slowly started rebuilding their lost machine, a certain captain got a promotion and world-wide recognition.

Every night, two respective pilots and captains, one from UN and one from UU, wondered what in the universe happened to their cargo.

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I look like Alessia Cara?

Hello Internet!

I know I said I’m on hiatus but I’m a weak person who cannot sleep and so must type. But I have no clue what so I’ll just shortly tell this thing that happened today.

Today I found out that I apparently look like Alessia Cara according to a guy I play football with.

Is it a compliment if it’s followed with “She (Alessia) looks bad”

*great willpower holding back*

Is it ironic that Scars to your beautiful just got a video, is becoming a hit and is being performed everywhere BY Alessia and some dude tells me that looking like her is bad because she looks bad ergo look bad?

Is this what they call a backhanded compliment or is it an insult?🙂

Lel, I am honestly super flattered if I look like her because, c’mon, she’s a princess. So, thank you football dude!

xox

 

 

(P.S- Boys are weird, weird people considering that before the whole ‘insult’, he told Sadhu that I was the best player in my team)

(Like, HUH????)

 

 

Harry Potter Spell Tag

Hello Internet!

Many thanks to the awesome Samanthamurdochblog for tagging me!

In this tag, a bunch of Harry Potter spells carry a question each, which you have to answer. All of them are book related. I really am not sure whom to tag. If any of you are interested in doing this, well, um, I officially tag you! You can do this!

Start…

1) EXPECTO PATRONUM (a childhood book connected with good memories)

I am going to say The Fish in Room 11 by Heather Dyer. My mom got it for me at our school book exhibition. I absolutely loved it. It’s my comfort book (if there is, y’know, such a thing…). It’s about a family of mermaids who disguise themselves as humans and come to live in Hotel Royal because gold hunters are searching the beach and the water for buried treasure and they (the mermaids) don’t want to be discovered. Yes,  it’s my comfort book. Keep up!

2) EXPELLIARMUS (a book that took you by surprise)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. I only started reading it because so many people were recommending the author. I actually read two pages and then put off reading it for a couple weeks. Then, I chose 10:30 in the night to start reading it again. Cue the applause, I got hooked. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!

3) PRIOR INCANTATO (the last book you read)

Off The Page by Jodi Picoult and Samantha Van Leer. I actually haven’t finished it yet. But the last book I finished completely was Time Racers. The last book I read (but have read before) is Swami and Friends by R.K. Narayan.

4) ALOHOMORA (a book that introduced you to a genre you hadn’t considered before)

Tom Sawyer introduced me to Classics. It’s still not my favorite genre but I have read a lot more Classics than I would have if I hadn’t read Tom Sawyer.

5) RIDDIKULUS (a funny book you have read)

I… am actually not sure.

6) SONOROS (a book you think everyone should know about)

Museum of Thieves by Lian Tanner. It’s a three part series. It’s not the most brilliant book I have ever read but it is really good. So, that’s a definite recommendation.Magyk by Angie Sage is also worth a read so, yeah, I’m recommending those two (both are the first of a series).

7) OBLIVIATE (a book or spoiler you would like to forget having read)

Imma say spoiler. Cursed Child. I literally read all the spoilers on tumblr because someone put them up there and I, being idiotic, read it.

8) IMPERIO (a book you had to read for school)

I actually never HAD to read anything for school. We were doing book reports and we could choose whatever so I got this really funny book called The Edgar Chronicles (or something along that line. I’m sorry… it was so long ago. I tried googling it but all that came up was The EDGE Chronicles which, maybe, I should try out).
Anyway, the book was about this super wacky family and their pet crow, Edgar (Please, if you have read something along those lines, I BEG of you to tell me the correct name. Please… I need to know I am not going mad and dreaming up books) so if you can FIND it I recommend it.

9) CRUCIO (a book that was painful to read)

OK… I am going to say The School for Good and Evil by Somnath Chainani. I mean, I REALLY liked it at first. In fact, I really, really loved the first one. After that, it got kind of painful. It just dragged on for so long and the actual story starts after HALF the book is done. Also, both the girls… I loved them at times but at other times they got on my NERVES.

10) AVADA KEDAVRA (a book that can kill (interpret as you will))

I am going to say ANY Stephen King. I haven’t read too much of his writing because I am a scaredy pants but his writing is AMAZING and if you don’t like his writing too much, you will keel over and die from fright. So, yeah, it does kill!


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Surprise!

Hello Internet!

Yesterday, my friends and I gave Teja and Mana a surprise party.

Admittedly their birthday is only on September 14th (Mana keeps reminding us that it’s one day after Niall Horan’s, two days after Connor Franta’s, one day before Jenna Marbles’, 14 days after Jeon Jungkook’s, about 12 days before Lilly Singh’s, etc, etc) but since it’s only a couple days before mid yearly exams, we decided to have it yesterday

We were supposed to leave at 10. I woke up at 9. I got ready in record time. Adu and Sadhu came over at about 9:30-9:40 and we left at 10:15. Teja and Mana were having dance class in their room. Ady thought it was somewhere else and strode into their room. Teja and Mana were about to see her before their mom pulled her back.

She managed to convince them it was just her. I don’t think Adu has forgiven Mana for saying “Mom, you look like a ghost with your back turned”

We definitely surprised them. We hid upstairs watching Melanie Martinez videos and generally whisper shouting at each other until their class got over.

Teju ran into the room shouting “Aaaah! Air conditio-”

“SURPRISE!”

I wish we could have caught the look on her face on camera.

We stayed there till nine in the night (traffic). All of us are currently obsessed with Melanie so we shot a lip sync video thing for ‘Tag you’re it’. We also ate a lot, played music, volleyball (we stopped after it hit the wind chimes and nearly broke the window), sang, danced, etc, etc.

So, Happy Advance Birthday Teja and Mana!

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(P.S- There is a slight chance our school might have a football team for girls and if they do, Teja, Mana and I are main players. Might)

Why They Die (or fight, or add to the storyline)

Hello Internet!

Movies are extremely interesting. I believe movies not only add greatly to entertainment, but help us in survival. I will not go as far as to say, I would survive in one of those movies but I would probably survive longer than anyone who died did. You can too. Here are a few basic survival tips for movies.

DISCLAIMER- This is a work of ‘humor’ (or what I call humor which is not humor) and any likeness to real life movies is probably intentional. This post is not meant to cause offence to any moviee so I beg angry fandoms to not hunt me down. No movies or directors were harmed in the making of this…

ONE- Let’s be real. You are only going to get killed by the creepy voice in the abandoned house, if you go TOWARDS the creepy voice in the abandoned house. You will probably survive if you turn right around, head for the door, close it, lock it and run far, far away.

TWO- You will most certainly get killed by the falling object if you stand right there and stare at it. When you notice it falling, you will have approximately one or two seconds before impact. MOVE! Dive, run, cartwheel, backflip, I don’t care. You will probably be safe if you move even 10 centimetres away.

THREE- Now, what some people in action films don’t seem to realise is, a misunderstanding can most certainly be solved by talking, apologising and explaining. Sure, they might still be a tad mad at each other but at least no one will be dead! No cities are going to be destroyed! No movies will end on a cliffhanger! So, please talk to each other.

FOUR- I don’t care what your mother’s actual name is, but it is probably good to change it to Martha when you’re in a movie. Just saying! Lily’s good too!

FIVE-  OK, credit for this one goes to IIsuperwomanII. When random murderor is in your house, FaceTime a friend. Even if you die, we’ll know who it is!

SIX- when you are on an extremely thin bridge, it is easier to hug it and crawl across it. I mean, sure you can go in slow motion looking super cool, but then you will probably fall. Crawling will look stupid but you will have a better chance of not falling. I’d rather look idiotic than die.

SEVEN- Being ‘the one’ not only makes the movie great but you can run through people. That was actually more of an observation than a tip. Sorry.

EIGHT-  Please, please, please, for the love of God, kiss the love interest AFTER the fight is over or BEFORE the fight even starts. Kissing while everything is going on not only makes time vanish while, oh I don’t know, a time bomb is about to explode but you are probably going to wind up dead because the bad guy sneaked up behind you and you didn’t even notice!

NINE- However, if the love interest looks like they’re dead, kiss them. I do NOT know how this miracle of science happens but the love interest always seems to wake up after you’ve kissed them.

TEN- If creepy things are going on in your house, please move out. Sell it to that person who always made fun of you in school and move to a nice crowded apartment in the city because these sort of things NEVER seem to happen in a crowded apartment in the city.

ELEVEN- I understand how tempting it is to trust all your friends but do a check. Behind their backs? Yes. Check their rooms, their laptops, their phones, their postbox, their letters, their tumblr, their Facebook, check all of it! It might be untrustworthy but at least you’ll know whose going to betray you and you can run.

TWELVE- When a car is chasing yours in the crowded city, don’t drive faster. Slow down and jump out.

That’s it for this post. Sorry I didn’t post in a week. Love y’all!

(P.S- I didn’t use a GIF for this as I’m typing this from my I-pad with a Bluetooth keyboard and I can’t really save a complete GIF on it)

Answering, Kittens, The Matrix and More

Hello Internet!

Guten Morgan!

(Uh huh, german classes are going well)

                                                                                                                                                

First of all, Manu made a 1D challenge on her blog partyhardfangirl (QUESTIONS)

ANSWERS- 1) 10.5 million/  2) May 16 2016 (one day give or take)/ 3) I think London (Okay I googled that. Also, that is a very creepy fact)/  4) 8 (Also extremely creepy. I wonder how shoe size even came up during interviews. BTW, I did not google that. My friends told me a while ago)/  5) Ruth and Nicola Payne/  6) 1.8 m (It’s on Wikipedia guys, seriously!)/  7) Sweden, UK and United States (OK, I googled that. I’m a bad person!)/  8) I think 6 Jan 2012/  9) 30 cm
10) Harry Potter

                                                                                                                                                       

Second of all, I got my english exam result – my highest yet. It is… wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…

49 1/2 ON 50!

50 is impossible to get in Eng. No, even if you haven’t made any misake, they won’t give you 50. Don’t ask me why. It’s some sort of rule. I did make one mistake though (which cost me half a mark). I forgot to write the month in words in my formal letter.

I am kicking myself because our teacher kept reminding us to write the month in words and I forgot.

I did well in most subjects this time.

Yay me.

(NOTE TO SELF- Always write the month in words)

                                                                                                                                                

The day before yesterday, we found this litle kitten stranded near our house.

It’s mom was not there so we decided to raise it until it gets older.

It is so adorable that I cannot EVEN!

Vallufur

Vallufurr

                                                                                                                                       

I watched the first Matrix movie last night. ‘Oh my god Via! How awesome! You’re more than ten years late by the way!’

Morpheus and his “He’s the one” though.

“Morpheus, why is he here?”

“He’s the One”

“Morpheus, why did he crash that car?”

“He’s the One”

“Morpheus, why is that bird flying?”

“Because Neo is the One”

                                                                                                                                      

My mom just returned from a PTA meeting at school. No horror stories (phew). According to my class teacher, I am vibrant, enthusiastic, creative and full of life during any form of un-conventional teaching or activity but switch off as soon as the textbook comes out.

Heh heh?

                                                                                                                                      

Yep. That is most of the major life updates I have (man, my life isn’t too exciting. Or wait, is it my life? Ugh, I’m regretting watching The Matrix)

So, what’ve you guys been up to? Have any song, movie or book suggestion?

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 Something Wild by Lindsey Stirling and Andrew McMahon